WHEN YOU ARE IN IT.
Sometimes it’s hard to see it when you are in the middle of it. For years I have reminded my husband about “putting it out there”. The concept being that the thoughts, ideas, visions, dreams, and words you express often attract those things to happen, you manifest them. I have seen it over and over and believe it to be true.
Over the past few months I have been going through a huge overarching, rainbow-type transition with many smaller, yet significant raindrop-type transitions happening all around me. It has been a time that I knew was coming, heck, I initiated it! I thought I was prepared; I bought a rain jacket and galoshes for goodness sakes. To some degree I was prepared but I definitely wasn’t prepared for the vast impact of it all. I was planning for a thunderstorm and I’m having a hurricane-type experience.
I’m working through my transition and entering into a new phase, entrepreneurship. I already buttoned up the business paperwork and all the logistics of that but now comes the vulnerability part. Submitting my first proposal to a potential client.
I have done this a million times in my work career but it has been in a different context, I worked for a large entity (government) that paid my salary, benefits and I utilized their resources to do my work. Now, I am that entity! And, I’m needing other people to pay my salary, help me pay for my benefits and resources. It is so logical but so mind blowing!
In drafting the proposal and determining my rate, essentially the monetary value of my services it was hard to put a number to it. Being a public servant for 27 years had put me in a position of being able to help people that needed my help, regardless of their ability to pay. I was talking through this rate conundrum with my coach and she said to me “what number is rolling around inside of you?” “I blurted out a number that felt okay, $100.” Her reply was “Actually, your services are worth (insert a number many times more than my number) in the private sector.” I lost my breath for a brief moment. I have known this, her number wasn’t something new, in-fact it was what is listed in my business offerings document that I created months ago. It was just now, that I am in it, it was difficult to remember. In that moment, it was difficult to process that “my services” “my expertise” “my offerings” are of that monetary value to others. It took me a minute to think this through and remember what I know, I am worth it! I am worth that monetary expense to client. I am of value. I know they will see it, even if this first client doesn’t.
Okay, see what I just did here? I just put it out there that my first proposal is going to be met with push back. That I am going to feel rejection. This is fear talking. It’s okay to be fearful, in fact, I think it would be crazy if I wasn’t afraid, at least a little. I had a moment of thinking that I should edit out that statement and reword it to be positive and attracting what I want but it’s important to share how easily those thoughts flow into our narrative.
This morning my husband gently said to me “a wise person often reminds me about the things that I put out there. And, now I am passing along that wisdom and reminding you about what you are putting out there with the hopes to raise your awareness and increase your wisdom.” “Oh wow, I didn’t even realize what I’ve been doing. I have been so deep in “it” that I haven’t had the space to realize what I have been putting out there. Thank you for the reminder.” “You are welcome, that what we do for each other. But usually, it’s you reminding me. I’m happy I can remind you every once in a while.”
Thank you for another day to grow. Have a great day, remember to drink your water so you can continue to grow too! #onward
