FROM SURREAL TO REAL
Around 2006, I casually decided that I should really take a look at my retirement scenario, I would be able to retire in about ten years and I wanted to set myself up in a way that left me comfortable so I wouldn’t have to run out and get another job, like I have seen so many others have to do. I sat back and said, “I can see myself managing people, more than just managing projects. I know how to do this, I’m a mom and I’ve herded my share of cats and I've gotten things done. I can do this.” I continued to work and when opportunities appeared to learn and grow, I took them. The first big job opportunity came and I threw my hat in the ring, and it worked out, I got the job! But, unfortunately, I lost a longtime friend in the process (that’s a story for another time).
A few years later, 2011 another opportunity came and again, I spoke up, I expressed my interest and sold myself, and guess what... I got the job! Managing more people, responsible for a greater budget and I was doing well. I built a team and we were having successes. We were systematically setting goals and achieving them. More over, we were having success beyond success, my team was happy, they were enjoying their jobs and we all got along well. We were all working hard, really hard but It was great.
Fast forward to December 2014. An unexpected transition was happening in my workplace, opportunity was presenting itself again but this time it felt wrong. I was leaving in a few days for a month-long personal adventure overseas, I was stunned that the transition was even happening and it felt overwhelming but something told me to take the risk. I said ‘what the heck, what will it hurt? The worst they can tell me is no but I won't know if I don't try.” I expressed my interest in a role that would thrust me into top tier management, I aimed high, I left on my trip and didn’t worry about it. When I returned to work six weeks later I interviewed for the job and shortly thereafter I was told that while I wasn’t the ideal candidate for the position I had applied for, they offered me a different one. I aimed for the moon and landed among the stars. This was okay.
I entered an arena that I didn’t have specific experience in. I had to learn, a lot. I struggled but I grew and I didn’t give up, even on the days when I was counting down to my retirement and I was on the verge of calling it quits, I didn’t. I had a long-term vision still looming out there and the Universe wasn’t going to let me forget it. For eighteen months I learned to love my new role, not with the same passion as I loved my prior twenty years but love still the same. And then, something unexpected happened. The Universe answered a prayer that I forgot I was chanting.
I went in for my performance review with a small expectation of an increase in pay and I walked out with an offer! The opportunity would land me squarely on the Moon that I had originally shot for and missed! The job I had originally applied for was now being offered to me! It was surreal. I did have some work to do but the stars were aligning and it was up to me to sell myself, again. So I did and within 24 hours I received a formal offer! And, I took it!
It was all very surreal and emotional. That afternoon, I was driving home and I had this strange urge to stop by the cemetery where my dad is buried. This is particularly strange because in the 7 years he’s been gone, I’ve stopped at the cemetery less than 5 times, it’s just not my thing, until that afternoon. I quietly walked over to his site, sat down and as I was cleaning the dirt off his headstone I glanced over at his neighbor. The moment I realized that I was looking my grandmother's gravesite tears began to fall from my eyes. I was overwhelmed with emotion; suddenly I could feeling their pride in me but I could feel my grandmother. I could feel her pride, I could feel her touch and I could feel that I was carrying her somehow. So many of her struggles were lifted because of my accomplishment. For decades she struggled to provide for her family as a single mother with a sixth grade education. She vowed to teach her daughters how to be strong, how to not rely on others to make things happen, how to believe in themselves and just do it. And I just had. I sat in silence with my the love of my dad and my grandmother holding me.
As I started to drive out of the cemetery I glanced over to the older section of the property. I clearly remembered walking through this older part with my dad, holding his hand, walking to find the gravesite of his parent's. I remembered him telling me that they were buried next to a tree. When I found the tree and saw my grandparent's joint headstone the emotions hit again. The reality that I am here because of them, I am alive because of them, I achieved this career goal because of their genetic strength. That strength physically runs through my body with each breath I take. This afternoon I was called to them in a most humble way, to sit in gratitude and appreciation with them, with my ancestors. It was beautiful.
I am grateful for everyone who has contributed to this day becoming a reality. All the experiences I have had so far have brought me to this day and I look forward as the rest of my path unfolds in front of me.
With light steps, an optimistic spirit and the blood of my ancestors, I welcome you! Let us journey together my friends.
