SEARCHING FOR WISDOM
You are bogged down, living by your calendar, unsure of your next move until you hear that 'ding'. You feel the pressure, you know you only have 15 minutes before you have to switch to a different task and you haven't quite finished the one you are currently working on. It feels like finishing things just isn't a reality these days. Reality is just moving forward, working on something so you can wok on the next thing.
You are running with a momentum that you are on the verge of toppling over. You are moving faster than your legs can carry you, faster than you can think sometimes. The pressure of needing to take a vacation, needing to take time off looms stronger and stronger. You know you need to but when? How? You bit the bullet and you make reservations and plans to take time off to recharge so you can be better when you come back.
You work hard to set things up so the wheels don't fall off while you are away. You determine priorities based on time and what you can push yourself to finish before you board that plane. You work until the very end, until you just have to stop. You resolve yourself to only check email when you have service or you tell yourself that you won't be checking it at all, essentially you lie to yourself.
It takes a few days for you to finally decompress. You stop thinking that you feel your phone vibrating in your pocket. You stop thinking that you hear your phone ringing in the distance. You finally stop reaching for your phone to "check the time" several times an hour. And, if you are lucky will will finally stop reaching for your pocket to feel for your phone each time you leave place, needing to make sure you didn't leave your lifeline behind.
You are finally there. Finally you have reached your destination and you are enjoying the moments of being in the now, being present and enjoying the things that you have been working so hard to be able to experience. You made it! And then, it creeps back in... you realize that return to reality is eminent. But something is different.
You are very aware of the distractions that were so much a part of your everyday life back home. You don't want to go back to the place you were, in your mind. You love your job and you want to get back to it but not with the stress and dread. But how?
You are sitting and thinking, your mind has taken you back to the office, your shoulders feel it, your heart feels it and your neck is screaming "NO!" And, you haven't even checked in for your flight, in fact your don't have to for two more days! Let's get a reality check here! There must be things we can do... there has to be! Right?
Right, there is. Write down the sensations you are feeling. Think deep down and explore where they are coming from. Are they from fear of missing a deadline and the possible consequence? Are they from just trying to manage a busy calendar? Are they from unknown tasks that might be piled on your by your boss when you get back? Really, think and write down what you are feeling and why. You will be amazed!
Save that list and let's talk about it the next time we see each other. These are the guideposts that we will use to get you back home, safe and sound. It's real and it is possible!
